You Can Coach It… But Can You Take It?
By Amanda Monk
Have you ever found yourself guiding a client to slow down and breathe, while running on fumes yourself? They nod with gratitude, ready to take the advice. And inside, you realize, wow, I probably need to do this, too.
As coaches, guides, or leaders, we are fluent in the language of self-care. We can teach rituals, boundaries, and tools for alignment. But here's the deeper question: Do we practice what we preach?
Taking your own medicine isn't optional. It's crucial. Not only for your wellness, but for your integrity and embodiment of the work. When you live what you teach, your coaching stops being theory and starts being lived truth.
The Base of the Cup
Think of your nervous system as the base of your proverbial cup. If it's steady and regulated, your care practices can actually land. If it's dysregulated, it's like trying to pour water into a sieve. It doesn't hold.
I've been there: meditation, movement, rituals - all of it slipping through. It can feel like you're not doing enough, that the positive effects feel surface-level, or that it's a waste of precious time. The problem wasn't the practice; it was that my system couldn't hold what I was trying to give myself.
This is where you can check in with yourself to evaluate where you could use some shoring up and focus first regulation. It may be across the board, or in just one area of life.
Dysregulated System
Practices slip through like water in a sieve
  • Surface-level effects
  • Feeling like you're not doing enough
  • Wasted precious time
Regulated Foundation
Care practices can actually land and hold
  • Deeper integration
  • Sustainable wellness
  • Embodied transformation
How Big Is Your Cup?
Capacity matters too. How much can you actually hold?
I once worked with a client who was surrounded by love and support, had good practices to replenish themselves, yet they still felt depleted. Their "cup" wasn't broken. It was smaller than the demand of their newly expanded life. Their capacity to receive had not yet expanded to fit their needs. They were starving in some areas, and overflowing in others. This left them confused.
40%
Starving Areas
Parts of life lacking nourishment
60%
Overflowing Areas
Excess in some aspects of life

This isn't just about what you give yourself. It's also about what you let in from others: support, recognition, a little grace, and being witnessed. One of the biggest capacity killers here is the fear of having needs, especially as your life or business gets bigger.
The "How" Matters
Of course, what you pour into the cup matters as much as the cup itself.
My Wake-Up Call
For years, I swore by my morning ritual… journaling, my coffee full of amazing supplements, and my tarot deck. Then one day, I realized it had fallen flat, more like a checklist than nourishment.
That was my wake-up call: what worked in one season wasn't meant to last forever. My life had shifted, but I had not shifted my practices to meet the changes. When it felt like going through the motions, then it's was no longer feeding me.
Winter Nourishment
What sustains you in quiet, reflective seasons
Summer Energy
What fuels you in active, expansive times
Life Seasons
What worked at 38 may feel irrelevant at 46
Evolution
We are seasonal beings in constant growth
So pause and ask:
  • Do my methods still work for me?
  • Do they bring peace, pleasure, or replenishment?
  • Or is it time to shift with the season of life I'm in?
Sometimes self-care looks like discipline. Sometimes it looks like surrender. Sometimes it's silence; sometimes it's asking for help.
3 Questions to Come Back To
When in doubt, these three questions cut through the noise:
1
Is my cup solid?
Where are the leaks?
  • Check your nervous system regulation
  • Identify areas of dysregulation
  • Shore up your foundation first
2
What is my current capacity for care?
And does it serve me?
  • Assess your ability to receive
  • Notice where you're starving vs. overflowing
  • Expand capacity to match your needs
3
What practices, in this season, are most effective in replenishing me?
  • Honor your seasonal nature
  • Choose practices that bring genuine nourishment
  • Release what no longer serves
Final Thought
You can coach it. You can model it. You can inspire others to take it on. But the deeper invitation is this: Embodiment of your work is crucial; can you take what you coach?
When You Embody Your Teaching
  • Your work carries a different weight
  • Clients feel the authenticity
  • Communities sense the integrity
  • You stay grounded, whole, and aligned
When you do, your care practices are embodied, not just spoken, and your work carries a different weight. Clients feel it. Communities sense it. And you, at the center of it all, stay grounded, whole, and aligned.
Amanda Monk
Managing Editor, The Coaches’ Chronicle
Amanda Monk Coaching
With two decades of experience designing leadership programs and guiding executives, Amanda has built her career at the intersection of strategy, humanity, and change. As a Leadership and Transformational Coach, she specializes in Emotional Intelligence—helping leaders not just understand it, but live it in their communication, relationships, and self-leadership. Amanda’s trauma-informed, heart-centered approach supports clients in balancing authority with authenticity, compassion with strategy, and confidence with connection. Her coaching is more than professional development—it’s personal expansion that transforms how her clients lead, love, and live.
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